The Real Me
by Faking A Smile
Summary: Alexander Lightwood is a pop sensation at the age of 18. Ever since his rise to stardom, he and his siblings have been home schooled. What happens when they are forced to go to a public school? Will the stereotypes be true? Will he be able to show the real him or the Alec that everyone else sees? Malec AU
1. Prologue: The Real Lightwoods

**This is a new story so I hope you like it. In this story, Max is 15 and sophomore. It was either that or he was dead, which I'm still not over. Alec is 17 and a senior, while Izzy and Jace are 16 and juniors. **

**Enjoy!**

**_Prologue: "The Real Lightwoods"_**

**_Of The Real Me_**

If one were to see the Lightwood, they would instantly envy them, their family the model of perfection. They would see two parents and four siblings who love each other dearly.

If one were to describe them, they would tell you about Robert and Maryse Lightwood the powerful CEOs of Lightwood Industry, Alexander Lightwood pop sensation taking the world by storm, Jonathan Christopher "Jace" Lightwood, Isabelle Lightwood rising fashion model, and Maxwell Lightwood with his nose always stuck in a book or comic.

However if one was to experience the lives of the famous Lightwoods, they would find that none of this was true. They didn't have loving parents, they had parents who were never home and made the four of them feel awkward when present. They didn't let their fame get to their head though; they were just Alec, Jace, Izzy, and Max, the four Lightwoods. They formed their own dysfunctional little family. And most of all, one would feel they emptiness of their house and how it reminds most of a pristine and upscale showroom.

This is the life of Alexander Lightwood. This is why he has never had a normal life filled with immaturity and jokes. Instead he had to watch over his siblings and be the parents his never were. Absentee parents will do that to you.

And this is the story of his journey finding his other half, the person who makes him feel alive, the person who awakens something in him he thought only music could.

_Ahh _I thought as I fell back onto my bed for the first time in months. This is my first time home in close to two months as I had spent that time traveling the states going from radio station to radio station promoting my first studio album, Who You Are. My label didn't think I needed to do the promo tour because of my parents' status in the music industry, but I wanted to earn my fans because of my music not who my parents are.

Music has been my life ever since I could talk. When I'm singing I feel like I belong, like I actually fit in somewhere in the crazy world. Normally everyone is too busy gawking at Jace, Izzy, or Max and I'm left in the background, not that I mind though. Being in the spotlight is never a good time for me unless it has something to do with music. I think that's why I'm more outgoing when I'm on stage.

As much as I love traveling and promoting my album, I was starting to get homesick and I missed my siblings like crazy. I'm usually in charge since my parents are never home, they think business is more important than family. We've grown accustomed to it over the years, seeing as their company proved more stressful than relaxing. From their homophobic words to their sheer coldness, their two day visits prove to be lonely and miserable for the four of us.

I got up from my bed and looked around my room with a tired sigh. It was pretty normal in my opinion, even though it is double the size I need. The walls are painted a light grey with a black desk, nightstand, and bed. I have various quotes and other pictures hanging on the wall and my favorite guitar hanging above my bed.

I walk over to my bathroom for a much needed shower. Even though I just got back from the promotion tour, my work is far from over. While we were touring, I got an email from my mother saying that my siblings and I will be attending Saint Raziel's High School this year. This took me by surprise since we are normally homeschooled, but the thought of going to a normal high school did sound interesting. My siblings had similar thoughts as they all were excited when I called to tell them.

I'll be going into my senior year, Jace and Izzy will both be juniors, and Max will be a freshman. Because my mother had already registered us, we received our schedules in the mail yesterday. This semester I have four classes: English, Music, Calculus, and PE. I already know that Calculus will be a challenge for me because I suck at math, I just never get it. I'm worried about the people there as I am not one to easily make friends.

I kind of need to get over these two issues considering that we start high school tomorrow.

**The prologue is finished! I know that not much happened, but I need to establish backstories and personal info before the Malec-y goodness can happen.**

**Review, follow, and favorite if you would like. I love getting these notifications because they let me know that people actually read and like what I'm writing.**

**~Faking A Smile**


	2. Chapter 1: The Real Magnus Bane

**_Chapter One: "The Real Magnus Bane" _**

**_Of The Real Me_**

**Because I forget this on almost every chapter I post for a story: I own nothing! Everything belongs to the lovely Cassie Clare. The songs are owned by whoever wrote them (You get the idea)**

**Songs: Strut by Adam Lambert**

**Enjoy!**

If one were to ask about Magnus Bane, they would tell you about his outgoing personality and what some may consider flirty. They would tell you about his crazy parties that go on until the early hours of the morning and the one night stands he has afterwards. They would tell you of his incredible style that never fails to leave people breathless.

Though all of this is a part of him, it's not entirely true. If you knew the real Magnus, you would know of his bad hair days, his dark days that he covers up with his cocky attitudes, and his dark past that has made him the beautifully strong man he is today.

No one knows this side of him; it's all hidden behind layers of makeup and his confident persona. All he needs is love. All he needs is someone who is there when he's down and there when he's not. He needs someone like Alexander Lightwood, though neither of them knows this... Yet.

I walk through the store trying to find the perfect outfit for the first day of my senior year, even though my outfits are always perfect. I will not be able to start the year off looking just mediocre. This is my last year in that hell hole and then I can graduate and go to NYU to study fashion design. Don't get me wrong, I have loved the experiences and the people but dealing with boring work and mean teachers is not for me.

I leave the store after I found the perfect outfit and walk down the street to my house. As I walk through the door, I hear moans and gasps coming from my uncles' room, so you know what that means: I'm blasting my music for the rest of the night.

I love my uncles, I really do, but they are the horniest people I know. I think it's more Uncle Adam since he's more outgoing than Uncle Brendon. I go to my room and plug my phone into the speakers and hit shuffle on my phone. I hum to Strut by Adam Lambert as I take my shower and start my nightly face care routine.

I finish everything quickly and lay my outfit out for school tomorrow before texting my friends to confirm where we'll meet in the morning before school. _Ughh_ _school _I thought, but at least our school isn't homophobic, well except for that douche bag Jonathan. I let my mind focus on the song playing as I drift off to sleep.

I am rudely awakened by the unlawful sound of my despised alarm, abruptly ending my amazing dream of me actually meeting Alec Lightwood. Tessa always says that dreams are just our mind's way of telling us the future, but I highly doubt that this will happen anytime soon.

I shut my alarm off before climbing out of my bed and going to take a quick shower. After my relaxing shower, I get dressed and head downstairs to make coffee. I am not a morning person, so coffee is the only way for me to actually be a functioning human being before 12 o'clock. When I enter the kitchen I see my uncles' having a full blown make out session; I told ya they were horny.

"Whoa lovebirds, not in the kitchen. We have to eat in here," I say while grabbing a to-go cup. They break apart without an ounce of remorse and shrug before going back to it.

I roll my eyes before my shouting my goodbyes while walking out of the door to hear them shout back theirs. I climb into my car, a lovely mint green vintage sports car, and driving the short distance to school. I would have walked, but the platform shoes I'm wearing will not be forgiving if I do so.

I make it school relatively quickly and find my group of friends hanging out in the courtyard area. I have a very diverse group of friends, in terms of personalities. First you have Camille who is like my partner in crime when it comes to shopping or "ice bitch" as Will likes to call her. Next there's Ragnor who can only be described as uniquely Ragnor. Moving on is Tessa who is my music partner in crime and is a writing fanatic. Then there's Will, dear Will. He's brutally honest (which is very helpful in certain times) and is very loyal. Most people don't like him (cough- Camille-cough) because of his cocky, sarcastic persona. Last, but certainly not least, there's the lovely Jem. He's like the peace maker in our group and he isn't half bad on the violin.

I walk over and sit down next to them greeting everyone and talking about our schedules. Turns out I only one class with any of my friends and that was Music which I have with Tessa. I think this is the universe's way of saying I need to expand my group of friends. The ringing of the bell cuts our conversation off short and I head to my first period, English. The best part is that I have Mr. Starkweather for this class and he is the worst person to have. Between his monotone voice and the already boring class, I don't know how I'm going to stay up, especially if it's the day after a really fun weekend.

After stopping by my locker and depositing my extra notebooks, I made the short walk to the classroom. Of course all the seats in the front were filled, effectively ending all of my chances of staying up in the class, so I sat in a seat at the back. The desks were in pairs of twos, so the seat next to me was vacant seeing as I knew no one in the class.

As soon as the tardy bell rings, Mr. Starkweather walks through the door and sits his briefcase down on his desk.

"Good Morning students. My name is Mr. Starkweather and I am going to be your teacher for advanced English 12." Groaning could be heard all throughout the room as the students realized how boring this class will really be.

"Before we get started, it says on my roll that we will be having a new student joining us this year. His name is-" He's cut off by the door opening and gasp could be heard as the mysterious new student comes through the door.

I instantly felt the breath leave my lungs as none other than Alec Lightwood walked through the door in all of his gorgeous glory. I also realized that the only empty seat was right next to me. This sounds like the beginning to a very cliché love story, but I know I'm just kidding myself because Mr. Blue Eyes is unfortunately straight.

This year just got interesting …

**And the official Chapter One is finished. What do ya think? If you have any comments or suggestions for the story, send me a PM or put it in a review. I read all the reviews and respond to all of them. Also follow and favorite so you can know when I update this story.**

**Thanks so much for reading my story! See ya next time.**

**Faking A Smile **


	3. Chapter 2: The Real First Impressions

**_Chapter Two: "The Real First Impressions"_**

**_Of The Real Me_**

**A/N: First, I have a question for you guys… Would you rather have more updates with shorter chapters or fewer longer chapters? I say that due to my busy schedule and I can do shorter chapters faster than longer chapters. I hate not updating for a long time. Thanks guys!**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing! It is a sad day… **

**Songs: If I Had You by the amazing (and sexy) Adam Lambert. You might as well listen to all of his songs because I'm 99% sure that I will all of them by the end of this story.**

**Alec's Point of View **

Going to school was something that I was going to have to get used to seeing as I'm used to doing school online. No matter the unusual routine, the four of us managed to get out of the house on time. Jace and Isabelle obviously thought this was a red carpet event because they both wore ridiculously fancy outfits, but neither Max nor I commented on it, but rather exchanged weird looks.

The ride to school was relatively short after we passed the paparazzi that were camped outside our driveway. When I pulled into the school, I was impressed by the sheer size and I didn't know how I was going to navigate my way from class to class. After parking the car, I turned to face my siblings.

"Okay guys; try not to get in trouble." I said mainly to Jace and Izzy as they tend to be a little snappy.

"Oh little faith brother, I'm offended." Jace said while rolling his eyes. I too rolled my eyes and got out of the car. We went to the office to check in seeing as though everyone was already in class then headed our separate ways to our classes. Surprisingly, I had no trouble finding my first class: English with Mr. Starkweather.

As I opened the door, I heard gasps and screaming from several girls causing my eyes to widen in shock. Girls started running towards me asking for me for autographs until an older man who I'm guessing is Mr. Starkweather tells them to sit down.

"As I was saying, we have a new student Alexander Lightwood. I would have him introduce himself, but I see that you all already know him." He said with a sigh causing my cheeks to heat up with a blush and I looked everywhere but at all the people looking at me.

"Please take a seat next to this gentleman, please Mr. Lightwood." He said and pointed to the seat next to the most beautiful man I have ever seen. By the angel, everything from his gorgeous green eyes to his tempting smile and perfectly golden, glowing skin made me blush and think of things that are not suited for school. I've never met someone who has had such a prominent first impression on me as he does and I don't even know his name.

I scurry to my seat and ignore the eyes I feel on me and hope that no one noticed how I was openly staring at him. When I sit down, I look at my notebook and ignore how amazing the guy next to me smells. It reminds me of sandalwood which is my favorite fragrance. Mr. Starkweather soon begins to explain what we're going to be doing this year and tells us what books we will need. One of them is one of my favorites, Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury (**A/N I'm honestly in love with this book and I suggest everyone read it. It's so freaking good)**. The other main book that we're reading this year is The Perks of Being a Wallflower, another that I've read and really enjoyed.

I can tell that the hot guy sitting next to me doesn't agree as he groaned at each book causing me to let out a giggle, then blushing when he turned and looked at me.

"Not a fan?" I whispered, carefully not to say anything too loud and disrupt the class.

"I like the books, but I'm not good at anything related to reading. I'm Magnus by the way. Magnus, Bane." He looked at me with a smirk and stretched his hand out. I said my name and shook his hand.

"Oh trust me; everyone here knows who you are." And yet again my face went up in flames. The bell rang reliving me of my embarrassment and as I get out my schedule, I see that Magnus has the same as me next.

"Magnus, can you show me where the music class is?" He turns and raises and oh so sexy bro while looking at my schedule and seeing the same class.

"Of course. I need to stop by my locker first do you mind?" After shaking my head and mutter a small no, we leave the class and walk down the hall. The hallway is silent and the flashes of people's camera are going off. I ignore it as we stop at Magnus's locker and he switches books all while people continue to stare. I hear him muttering about how people don't have a life and can't mind their own business. When I let out a small snicker he turns before asking if he said that out loud.

We make it to the music class and people still turn and stare. You would think I was used to it considering my parents' fame, but I always clam up when people stare at me. Magnus sits down next to a girl with long brown hair who's reading a book and starts up a conversation, making me sit next to him awkwardly. It took every fiber of my being not to openly gawk at him. When we were in the hallway, it was very hard to miss how every step he took exuded confidence and pure sexiness.

A few minutes after the tardy bell rung, a relatively young woman with long red hair stands up and introduces herself as Ms. Fairchild, the teacher of this course. We go around the room introducing ourselves and she jokes saying that since I'm here, there's no need for her. I politely respond by saying that there's always more to learn with music.

She gives us our first assignment which is to pick groups of three and write a song about anything of our choice. After explaining that it can be any song that's school appropriate, she told us to pick groups. Everyone turned towards me and were shouting for me to be in there group.

"Sorry guys, but Alec already agreed to be in a group with me and Tessa." Magnus said quickly coming to my rescue. Everyone audibly groaned, but went to pick groups out among themselves.

"Thank you." I sighed as I turned to face Magnus and the girl who I'm guessing is Tessa.

"No problem, they were swarming you like moths to a flame. Anyways, I realized that I didn't introduce you two. So you guys can formally meet: Tessa this Alec and Alec this Tessa." Tessa and I shook hands before focusing on our project since we had to perform it at the end of the week. I was wondering why she didn't give us further instructions before Tessa said that this was technically called Music IV and most of the people here have been singing since they were little.

"Where should we go to practice?" Tessa asked.

"We can practice at my house. My siblings shouldn't bother us too much." I said in a teasing manner.

"Are you sure? We don't want to impose." Magnus said clearly worried and I quickly assured him saying our house was way too big for anyone to feel imposed on.

"Okay. We can meet afterschool and follow you." After agreeing on where to meet, we talked about our other classes and other music related things before the bell rang and we were dismissed.

Magnus and Tessa showed me where the lunchroom was and I started looking for my siblings. I quickly found them to be surrounded by other students asking for pictures or autographs. I squeezed my way through before Izzy told everyone to go away.

"How did your first two classes go?" I ask as we got our lunches and sat back at the table.

"By the angel, the classes were boring, as usual, but the people were great. I met two girls in my art class and invited them over today, Clary and Maia. Jace almost scared Clary off with his annoying personality." Izzy grumbled while shooting Jace a glare that he promptly brushed off by rolling his eyes.

"By the angel, I didn't scare her off, she's just playing hard to get. No one can resist my charm." Jace said while puffing out his chest.

"Was this before or after she slapped you?" Max said while still reading his book and causing us to all bust out laughing, except Jace of course.

"Is she the red head who's murdering you with her eyes?" I ask while pointing to a girl with a cold glare aimed at Jace. He turns around and winks at her making her jump at him before her friend holds her down.

"Yeah, she's feisty and I like that." Jace says while turning back around, but I see something different in his eyes.

"She's different than your other girlfriends." Izzy said while looking at her phone.

"Yeah, she actually has a personality and isn't made of plastic." I grumble while finishing my meal. After we all finish, Max and Jace both tell met that their classes were fine and they both met a few people. Max met a guy Julian and girl Emma who are best friends, but complete opposites and they're coming over this weekend to spend the night. Jace met a dude Jordan whose girlfriend is coincidentally Maia in his first class Pre-Calculus.

**Magnus's Point of View**

After Alec walked off to join his siblings, Tessa and I spotted our friends sitting at a table directly across from Alec and his siblings. Actually meeting him and talking to him threw me for a loop, but I acted calm because I saw how he responded to the other people gushing over him. At first I was shocked because anytime I've seen him perform or in an interview, he's always confident and isn't afraid to be a little risqué.

No matter how much I wanted to fangirl every time he blushed, I held it together and acted as if he was a regular person. Tessa actually commented on how she was surprised I was so clam considering my minor (major) crush on him, even though I knew it was a pointless crush considering he was straight.

Ever since he first single dropped, I was amazed by his voice and don't even get me started on his body. I had known about him before because of his parents' company, but I didn't know he could sing as well. When we reached our table of friends, they immediately started talking about Alec and I couldn't help but stare at him from across the cafeteria. The way he laughed with his head thrown back had me hypnotized and I was having a very hard time hiding it.

I unpacked my lunch that I brought from home before rejoining the conversation of how everyone's day was going so far. Turns out Will had his schedule changed so I now had PE with him for the last class. When I checked Alec's schedule earlier, I saw that we had every class together which made me happy because I knew that I would at least have one person that I knew in every class. I'm not bad at socializing, it's just better to know people rather than having to make all new friends, especially in senior year.

All too quickly, the bell rings effectively ending our lunch and conversations and sending me to the exciting class of Calculus. It was obvious to everyone by now that math was a subject that either got it or didn't. Most of the other subjects, you can start to gradually get as you learned it more, but it was really hard to do with math. Fortunately for me, I got it and never had to study much for the tests

As I made it to the class I took a seat in the back and saved one for Alec. I knew he was coming when the flashes of cameras and whispers grew louder. One thing the people here do not know how to do is mind their own business and act normal. When he walked in, a blush was evident on his cheeks and he was pulling as his shirt, a nervous habit he seems to have, making his shirt tighter and his hidden abs more defined.

He sees the desk open next to me and sits down after making sure that no one was sitting there. Everyone was still staring at him which made him look down before I cleared my throat signaling them to turn around. He shot me a grateful look meeting my eyes in a rare moment before promptly avoiding them. At first I thought he didn't like my eyes before I saw a blush appear on his cheeks and he became even more flustered.

Mr. Garroway walked into the class and got our attention and began explaining some of the things we would be learning this year. I could audibly hear Alec groaning at everything.

"Not a fan?" I whisper, careful not to grab any unwanted attention.

"I'm not good at anything math related." He groans while dropping his head. Feeling bad, I decide to make a deal with him.

"How about you help me with English and I help you with Calculus?" His snaps up before quickly agreeing with me. After trying to keep myself up through math, the bell decides to have mercy on me and ring. While Alec and I walk to PE, we share embarrassing stories of us failing in our respective bad subjects.

We saw the sign that said that we were going out to the track, and followed the other people who were heading that way. It seemed like the media had caught wind of the Lightwoods at our school as you could see them walking all around outside the gates trying to get pictures. I was surprised that Alec hadn't freaked out but then again, he did seem used to it.

We sat on the bleachers and soon Will joined us. After quick introductions, they realized how similar they looked and joked about being long lost relatives. The only difference between the two was their personalities and the fact that Will had a darker complexion.

When about twenty minutes had passed, Alec's phone rang and he excused himself to talk to his manager. Will looked at me and I knew he would was about to say something.

"So how are you so calm around him, but freak out every time you hear his song on the radio?" He while raising an eyebrow and smirking. I flipped him off before rolling my eyes.

"I saw how much he freaked out this morning when everyone did that to him and I made myself control my inner fangirl so I could get to know him better." I said. He then continued to tease me about how much I wanted to be with him and how sexy I thought he was, but I didn't let it bother me because it was all true. It instantly made me think about his song If I Had You and what I wouldn't do to call that boy mine.

_So I got my boots on,_

_Got the right amount of leather_

_And I'm doing me up with a black colored liner_

_And I'm working my strut but I know it don't matter_

_All we need in this world is some love_

_There's a thin line 'tween the dark side,_

_And the light side, baby tonight_

_It's a struggle, gotta rumble, tryin'a find it_

_[Chorus:]_

_But if I had you,_

_That would be the only thing I'd ever need_

_Yeah if I had you,_

_The money, fame and fortune never could compete_

_If I had you,_

_Life would be a party, it'd be ecstasy_

_Yeah, if I had you_

_Y-y-y-y-you y-y-y-y-y-you y-y-y-y-y-you_

_If I had you_

_From New York to LA getting high, rock and rolling_

_Get a room trash it up 'til it's ten in the morning_

_Girls in stripper heels, boys rolling in Maserati's_

_What they need in this world is some love_

_There's a thin line 'tween the wild time,_

_And a flat-line, baby tonight_

_It's a struggle gotta rumble, tryin'a find it_

_[Chorus:]_

_But if I had you,_

_That would be the only thing I'd ever need_

_Yeah if I had you,_

_The money, fame and fortune never could compete_

_If I had you,_

_Life would be a party, it'd be ecstasy_

_Yeah, if I had you_

_Y-y-y-y-you y-y-y-y-y-you y-y-y-y-y-you_

_If I had-_

_The flashing of the lights_

_It might feel so good_

_But I got you stuck on my mind, yeah_

_The fashion and the stage, it might get me high_

_But it don't mean a thing tonight_

_That would be the only thing I'd ever need_

_Yeah if I had you,_

_The money, fame and fortune never could compete_

_If I had you,_

_Life would be a party it'd be ecstasy_

_Yeah if I had you_

_Y-y-y-y-you y-y-y-y-y-you y-y-y-y-y-you_

_If I had you_

_That would be the only thing I'd ever need_

_Yeah if I had you,_

_The money, fame and fortune never could compete_

_(Never could compete with you)_

_If I had you, life would be a party, it'd be ecstasy_

_(It'd be ecstasy with you)_

_Yeah if I had you_

_Y-y-y-y-you y-y-y-y-y-you y-y-y-y-y-you_

_If I had you. _

_If I Had You by Alec Lightwood_

**What did you guys think about their first day? Don't you just love a blushing Alec? It's just one of the most adorable things. The song above is by Adam Lambert, but in the story it's by Alec. **

**Please review with any thoughts, suggestions or compliments you might have regarding the story because I read and respond to them all.**

**Thanks so much for reading and follow the story to know when I update.**

**Faking A Smile**


	4. Chapter 3: The Real Begining of Us

**_Chapter Three: "The Real Beginning of Us"_**

**_Of The Real Me_**

**A/N: Hello! This chapter is not near as long as the last one, but I still really like it. I hope you do too!**

**I OWN NOTHING! Part of Warrior by Demi Lovato**

**Enjoy!**

**Alexander's Point of View **

During PE, Catarina called me to set up more interviews that I had in the next upcoming weeks and to discuss how my first day of school was going. I had told her everything that happened today, including Magnus. The only people I told that I was gay were her and Isabelle because I trusted both of them with my life. She always had to know because she would be in charge of damage control if that ever got out.

After we finished our conversation, I returned to the bleachers beside Will and Magnus and we continued our conversation about classes. Thankfully, PE passed rather uneventful and before I knew it the dismal bell had rung and Magnus was following me out to my car. The walk to the car was pretty quiet after we pushed past the tons of paparazzi shouting out questions. The only change to our plans was that Tessa couldn't come because of an emergency at her house.

We left the parking lot when all of my siblings had made it to the car and Magnus was following us back. I could tell Izzy was suspicious when I first told them that Magnus and I had to work on a project, but she thankfully didn't question me on it in front of Jace and Max, tonight though would be a different story. Just thinking about us being in room alone had me feeling butterflies in my stomach.

Once we arrived back at home, we all got out of the car and it was hard to miss Magnus's shocked face at the sheer size of our house. It has the traditional color scheme of dark and light brown, but was easily four times the size of a normal house, which I never really understood.

"You can follow me." I said timidly and breaking him from his shock spell. His eyes snapped to mine and we stare at each other before a throat is cleared behind us and I turn to see Izzy smirking. I roll my eyes and walk into the house while heading towards the kitchen.

"Would like something?" I ask politely while grabbing water for myself. He too says he wants water so I grab another before grabbing a bag of chips just in case we get the munchies.

"Where do you want to work? We can go in the living room, my bedroom, or the studio. It doesn't matter to me." I ask while pointing in the directions of each room

He thinks about it for a moment before answering, "We can go to your bedroom to write the lyrics and tomorrow we can work on the music." I nod in agreement before leading the way to my room.

When we get there, I sit crisscross on the bed and Magnus mirrors me. I grab my laptop and open up a blank document before looking up at him. "It's hard to write without any inspiration." I groan and lean back on the pillows.

"If I don't have an inspiration, I play other music and write down whatever words that comes to mind." He says making my eyes snap over to him.

"You write song?" I ask surprised. He seems much more into fashion based on his outfit today rather than music.

"Yeah, I write some things on my phone, but it's nothing good, just stupid lovey-dovey songs." He mumbles while looking away. I grab his phone and find that it doesn't have a lock code on it, immediately going to the notepad app. I open it and read one of the lyrics out loud.

"Out of the ashes, I'm burning like a fire/ you can save your apologies, you're nothing but a liar/ I've got shame, I've got scars/ that I will never show/ I'm a survivor/ in more ways than you know." I look up at him in complete shock for the second time today.

"Magnus, that's amazing; it is way better than what I write." I say and he looks almost taken back by my words.

"No way, your songs inspire people and give them a voice. Your music changes lives and makes people feel something. I just write to pass the time. Mine is okay, but yours is magnificent." I was so surprised by his words that I didn't know we were moving closer to each other until our lips met.

His lips were everything I had imagined and more with the perfect balance between softness and plumpness. At first we just kissed until his tongue gently swiped my bottom lip asking for the entrance that I allowed. When our tongues collided, it felt like fireworks had gone off behind my eye lids. We moved even closer than I thought was possible with him grabbing onto my short and me putting my hands through his hair.

As if I'm transported back to reality, I hear footsteps coming down the hallway and I jump off the bed, consequently causing Magnus to fall forward while letting out a groan. I start pacing my room and I feel a panic attack coming on, but I take deep calming breaths to prevent that.

When I open my eyes again, I see Magnus looking at me with a worried expression. He tries to say something, but I quickly cut him off.

"I think you should go." I say quietly.

"Alec, I –"Magnus tried again, but to no avail.

"I think you should leave, Magnus." I say with more force as I feel the panic attack coming back. "I can't deal with this right now, I'll see you tomorrow." I turn my back and wait until I hear his retreating footsteps.

After the front door shut, I let out a breath and went to take a relaxing shower. After I got out, I headed to bed seeing as it was close to 9:00pm, even though it felt like we had just gotten home. I quickly fell asleep dreaming of beautiful green eyes and the softest lips.

**Magnus's Point of View **

The ride home was short lived with me thinking about what had just happened. I had just kissed Alec Lightwood, a straight famous guy. Although I'm starting to doubt that straight thing, it just came out of nowhere. All today I thought that I was the only one who was feeling something between us, but I had just chalked it up to my over active imagination.

By the time I reached my house, I was exhausted, both mentally and physically due to today's events. I passed by my uncles who were snuggled up on the couch, but turned around when they asked why I looked so down.

"I kissed someone today who is not only straight, but so out of league it's ridiculous." I muttered with defeat before continuing onto my room for a hot shower. After my shower, I went to sleep while dreaming of electric blue eyes and the softest lips imaginable.

My instead of my alarm waking me up, it was my phone signaling that I had a text message.

_**Magnus, meet me on the track before school so we can talk about yesterday. –Alec L. **_

This instantly made me get up so I could talk to him sooner. I got dressed and did my hair and make-up in record time, before making my lunch and a cup of coffee. I went slightly over the speed limit to get there and passed my friends who all made a weird face since I would normally sit with them until the bell rang.

I walked around the track until a mop of black hair go and sit on the bleachers. I slowly walked over and it seemed like he didn't know I was there.

"Alec?" I called out quietly; suddenly afraid that speaking any louder would ruin the feeling around us.

"I don't know what happened yesterday, but I know that I want it to happen again." He said louder and with more conviction than I've ever heard him sing or say anything in an interview.

**And that's a wrap for this chapter! How will this all play out? I think we all know, but act like you don't.**

**Please review with any thoughts, suggestions, or comments about this chapter or the story in general. I read every single one and respond to them (not to mention that they make my day.**

**Make sure you follow/favorite so you can know every time I update and you won't miss any chapters. Thanks for reading!**

**Faking A Smile**


	5. Chapter 4:The Real Us?

**_Chapter Four: The Real Us?_**

**_Of The Real Me_**

**A/N: Hello!** **I want to thank everybody that has favorite, followed, or review this story! I love seeing the reviews and when new people follow. It lets me know that people actually see my chapters and I'm not wasting my time (even though I love writing)!**

**I really like this chapter and I love the amount of Malec. I'm working on incorporating more of the other characters into the story so please be patient with me.**

**Song: Warrior by Demi Lovato. Only a few of the lyrics are in this chapter, but I highly recommend you watch the video on YouTube to get the full effect. **

**I OWN NOTHING!**

**Enjoy!**

**Magnus's Point of View**

I never thought that one sentence could make me feel so amazing, just knowing that Alec felt the same way I did instantly made my day better. I saw how scared he was and I was guessing that this was not only his first relationship, but the first time he has had to deal with these types of feelings; I men it didn't take a genius to figure out that he was gay.

"I know that this won't be easy, for either one of us, but I realized after you left last night that no one has ever made me feel that way. I'm only out to two people and I've never been in a relationship, but I know that you interest me like no other ever has." He looked so exposed and fragile that it made me want to kiss him, but we were out in the open and that would not be good thing for ether one of us right now.

"I don't care about that. Yesterday, I thought I was kidding myself by thinking that there was anything between us. Why don't we take it slow try to be normal around each other?" I propose, he looks like he wants to agree, but there's something holding him back.

"Can we still kiss?" He asks hesitantly. I act like I'm actually thinking about it, even though e we both know the answer.

"If you keep kissing like you did yesterday, defiantly." I say and just as I finish, the bell goes off dismissing us to English. We walk side by side with our arms occasionally brushing.

By the time we make it through English, I'm already exhausted. Mr. Starkweather has the most monotone voice that will put you to sleep in seconds. When we walk in to Music, our directions on the board are to keep working on our song. Alec still wants us to use some of the lyrics I had written on my phone and after both him and Tessa telling me how great they are, I finally relented.

We spent the entire period working on the lyrics and Tessa said she would start thinking about possible music to go along with it since that's more her forte. We make the same plans to meet up after school and I would drive Tess over to his house.

Lunch passed by uneventfully with Alec and I acting like we weren't both checking the other one out. The funniest part is that he would blush every time I saw him and Jace would always ask him what he was blushing about. I tried to join the conversation my friends were having, but I found most of my thoughts to be occupied by him.

When we got to Calculus, I saw how unenthused Alec was about the worksheet we had to do so Mr. Garroway could assess what skills we knew and which ones we needed to focus on this year. I helped him through some of the problems that frustrated him before the bell rang and we were on our way to PE.

Unfortunately for Alec, today was the first day we were dressing out in PE. I remember when I was still in the closet and this was the worst time of the day, but we were one of the first ones there and were able to change before the entire class had arrived. I had chosen a rather flashy outfit to bring as gym clothes, which consisted of short purple shorts and a white tank top with my second favorite singer, Adam Lambert, on it. Alec had a much more toned down look, opting with almost knee length black shorts and a regular tank top.

By the time everyone was out of the locker room, the coach was telling us that we would be running laps. I usually run on the weekends and whenever I need to clear my head, so this actually wasn't a problem for me. When we started running, Will, Alec, and I kept close together in a comfortable; after all, running isn't the best time to have a conversation.

All in all, the day passed rather quickly and eventfully, as the end of the day had approached and I was going to my where Tessa was already waiting. We had to wait a while before we could leave seeing as it took Alec, Jace, Izzy, and Max a little longer to get past the paparazzi that have been in front of the school since yesterday.

The drive to his house was quick while Tessa and I took that time to catch up on the other's life since I wasn't sitting with them this morning. Once we reach his house, her reaction is similar to mine at the grandness of the mansion in front of us.

We head inside after his siblings and go to the kitchen to get waters. _Oddly reminiscent of yesterday_ thought to myself while following him to a part of the house I had yet to explore. Turns out, it was his music room where he told me he kept the bulk of his instruments, perfect for us to arrange the accompaniment to our song and have the rest of the week to practice it before we have to perform on Friday.

"I've been thinking on how the music could start. Based on the beginning of the lyrics, it would be best to start with just the piano and have played it on the beginning of every line, like this." Tessa says and shows us what she's talking about. As she does, I start singing the first verse.

"This is the story that I have never told/ I've got to get this off my chest to let it go/ I need to take back the light inside you stole/ You're a criminal/ And you steal like you're a pro" I sing softly while looking on the paper of the lyrics we wrote in Music today.

"All the pain and the truth/ I wear like a battle wound/ So ashamed, so confused/ I was broken and bruised." Alec follows after me, keeping the same quiet tone I started. I'm not going to lie; it is very hard not to stop and stare at him while he sings. It's so easy to become mesmerized by his voice.

When the chorus comes up, Tessa remains at the same volume on the piano while Alec and I sing louder, creating the allusion of a crescendo, "Now I'm a warrior/ Now I've got thicker skin/I'm a warrior/ I'm stronger than I've ever been/ And my armor, is made of steel you can't get in/ I'm a warrior/ And you can never hurt me again." We sang in perfect harmony.

We finish the song in the same way, altering on the verses while singing the chorus and the bridge together. All in all, it takes about another hour and a half for us to get it just how we like it and make notes so we remember. By the time we're done, Tess says she has to go to work and gets Jem to pick her up since they both work at the same place, leaving Alec and I alone. As soon as we hear the door close we look at each and seemingly read the other's mind as we both lean in for a kiss. I would be lying if I said that I was use to this feeling since I've never been with someone who gives me butterflies just by them looking at me.

We had migrated to his bedroom since there was really nothing for us to do in the music room. Once in the room, we immediately collapsed on the bed and started asking each other random questions. We started off playing 20 questions, but soon lost count, asking each other's favorite color, meal, TV, and even season which I found out was winter for him because he likes wearing big sweaters. I tease him about being so pale and his face lights up with his infamous blush.

Our game was interrupted by a call he got from his manager, which he decided to put on speaker, even though I told him I could step out of the room.

"Hey Cat, what's up."

"You will never guess who I just got email from." Comes an excited squealing girl from the other end.

"No I won't so just tell me." Alec responds while rolling his eyes, making my lightly hit his arm as a form of scolding him.

"I just got an email from Ellen asking if you could come to LA to record for the show airing Monday." I saw Alec stop breathing from the corner of my eye and I quickly followed suit. Ellen is my not so guilty pleasure that I like to binge watch every Sunday night with my uncles.

"Are you joking? I would love to be on Ellen." Had honestly never heard Alec's voice go so high, but I didn't point it out due to the fact that I was freaking out right alongside him.

"I know; that's why I already confirmed it and I'm sending you the details." They ended the call a few minutes later after discussing the time they were supposed to leave for LA on Friday.

**Alexander's Point of View **

When I ended the call with Cat, I realized how late it was ad Magnus said he needed to go. I hesitantly got up knowing that the second he leaves I was going to miss his amazing eyes and perfect lips. I led him downstairs after eh gathered his books and was surprised to see Izzy and two other girls sitting on the couch.

"Hey guys, what are you still doing here Magnus? I thought Tessa left a few hours ago." Izzy said with a knowing smirk and I felt a blush come to my cheeks when I felt Magnus's hand touch my back, sending amazing shivers up my spine.

"We were talking about Calculus homework." Magnus said without missing a beat and saving me from having to answer a question we all know the answer to.

"Interesting. Anyways, Clary, Maia, this is my brother Alec and his _friend_ Magnus." She said and put a special emphasis on friend.

"It's so amazing to meet you. I've loved your music since I heard your first single." Clary says while blushing, but I see Maia rolling her eyes.

"Wow. Thank you. I'm going to show him out; it was nice to meet you two." I smiled and walked to the door with Magnus following.

"So, I'm guessing Izzy knows about you?" He asks with a smirk and I drop my head with groan before answering his question and avoiding looking into his eyes and getting mesmerized.

"Yeah, and I'm regretting telling her. She's going to question me for hours when I go back in there." I say with a smile.

"I wanted to ask you something. I was talking to Tessa earlier about this and she was surprised I hadn't already done it." He says with a nervous smile which is weird because he doesn't seem like the type to get nervous, even though I've only known him for two days.

"What is it?" I ask also nervous.

"Will you go on a date with this Friday?" He says and I think my heart stopped. I looked up into his eyes and saw him looking back at me with a hopeful expression.

_Magnus Bane_ just asked me out. _Magnus Bane_!

**Aren't they just the cutest! I'm so excited to write out there date and keep in mind that since Alec is "famous" they won't have a normal dinner and movie, because of the paparazzi. Their date will be a place where friends could go so it won't be suspicious plus Alec just wants to fit in and not be the Alec Lightwood.**

**Please write a review with any thoughts, concerns, compliments, or suggestions you might have about this chapter or the story in general as I read and respond to them all.**

**Follow (and favorite) so you can know when I update this story as it will probably not follow a schedule because of school and my personal life.**

**Faking A Smile **


	6. Chapter 5: The Real Reality Check

**_Chapter Five: The Real Reality Check_**

**_Of The Real Me_**

**A/N: Hello everyone! I am so sorry for the delay in updates! Exams are a bitch and they stressed me out! Thank goodness they are over and I don't have to worry about them until May.**

**Thank you to everyone who favorite, followed, and/or reviewed this story. Seeing those make my day and make me feel like people actually like my writing.**

****Disclaimer**:****I own nothing! Since this is an M-rated story, there might be harsh language (and later some smut *wink, wink*). However, I hate the words f*aggot or f*g so I will only use them if absolutely necessary. It physically pains me to even type them and I go bat shit crazy when people say it. I am bisexual and I completely believe in gay rights. **

**Enjoy!**

**Magnus's Point of View**

To say I was happy would be an understatement. It literally feels like I'm walking on a cloud in my own little universe. The entire time I was in his room and we were getting to know each other, it just felt right to ask him. After he was brought out of his shock, he responded with a shy yes and I saw that amazing blush come to his cheeks which contrast perfectly with his baby blue eyes.

I had since arrived home and saw Brendon and Adam cooking in the kitchen.

"Hey, where have you been?" Uncle Brendon asked since he saw me first.

"I was over Alec's house." I say casually, trying to hide the happiness I felt on the inside.

"For the second day in a row?" Adam said with a teasing smirk.

"Yes. We had to work on a very important project." I said.

"Oh, yeah I'm sure of it." Brendon said as we set the table for dinner. They continued to tease me over dinner about what I was doing over at Alec's house, but I was able to stall them until I finished eating then I made a break for it when they were distracted.

Wednesday and Thursday passed quickly. The only important thing that happened was the fact where Alec and his siblings sat with me and my friends at lunch. It shocked me when he asked in music on Wednesday, but I of course said yes. It was a good thing since we were only able to see each other in school as he had some meeting to go to after school on Wednesday and had practice Thursday.

Friday was the day I was really looking forward to. We were performing our songs and it my date with Alexander which I think will be perfect, especially since Izzy said that he wanted something casual at lunch yesterday. Since then we had exchanged phone numbers and texted a lot as she helped me plan what it think (and hope) is the perfect date.

I met up with my friends in our usual place before school and we talked about our plans for the weekend. The bell rung and effectively ended our conversations since I didn't have many classes with hem this semester and I am hoping that changes on the next one.

I went to my locker to grab my English binder and I checked my hair in the mirror I put in there. I saw Alec looking at me as he stood next to Jace talking. I smirked and winked at him through the mirror before closing my locker and strutting down the hallway, blissfully aware of his eyes on my ass.

I walked into English and took my seat, patiently waiting for Alec to come in. Less than a minute later, he comes in drawing the attention of the entire classroom. You would think that after being here for a week they would be over it, but oh no they are still acting like the first day.

"Hey." He says with a blush

"Hello Alexander." Ever since Tuesday, I started to call him Alexander after he admitted that he hates it when other people call him that, but likes it when I do. We had just started talking when I saw Jonathan and his group of Neanderthals walk up.

"Look what we have here boys, the fag and the wannabe superstar." I saw Alec stiffen out of the corner of my eye and turn around as I mentally prepare myself (aka turn my bitch mode on) to deal with him for the third year in a row.

"Jonathan, you say that like it's a bad thing when we both you liked it last night." I say innocently, earning a snicker from Alec and the rest of the class.

"Listen here you little fa-" He started

"I dare you to finish that sentence." Alec says with more malice in his voice and eyes than I ever thought was possible. Oh if looks could Jonathan would be six feet under right now.

"Or what Hollywood?" He asks with a smirk.

"How's your Dad doing? It's been forever since we've seen each other, you know, since he and my parents are business partners and all/" He takes out his phone and starts to call someone. Meanwhile Jonathan actually looks nervous as if he knows what Alec is about to do.

"Hey Mom." He says making us all gasp. Everyone knows Maryse Lightwood and everyone is scared of her seeing as she can make grown men cry with her icy glare.

"I know you have that meeting with Mr. Morgenstern about the anti-bullying campaign you're thinking about starting, but I just need to have a quick word with him."

"Oh I'm on speaker great. Mr. Morgenstern I am here with your son and he is bullying one of my friends and I thought you should know… Oh, you talked to my manger about me performing at the benefit… Thanks so much… We should have lunch. Call me when you're free… Okay, bye." He just sits back and we hear another phone ring and Jonathan picks up his phone.

"Hello… Dad… You're cutting me off… Why? It isn't like that… Fine." He glares and turns to Alec.

"You better watch your back Hollywood." He says and with a final glare he storms out of the class just as the tardy bell rings.

"You didn't have to do that." I say once class starts.

"He was being a jerk to you, so I did have to. Plus he called me a wannabe superstar." He says with an adorable smile.

"Well you're definitely not a wannabe, and he's just jealous because he thinks of himself as the school's most amazing singer."

"Huh, I'd like to see that." He says with an eye roll. English was much less dramatic after that and my morning was looking good again.

When English was over, Alec and I made our way to music. By now, what happened in English was all over the school and everyone was surprised that Alec actually did that seeing as so many people are scared of him. We were the first to perform and everyone loved it. The girls were of course fangirling over Alec, but I learned something new. He comes out of his shell when he sings and it is truly breathtaking.

**A/N: Raise your hand if you love badass Alec! *flails arms all over the place* Okay, I wanted to write more in this chapter, but it seemed all over the place. The next chapter is the date, which I am super excited to write.**

**More updates to for this story and Lights, Camera, Action on the way. Please review with any thought, compliments or concerns you have about this chapter or the entire story. I read them all and respond plus they really make my day.**

**Follow this story so you know when I post a new chapter since I don't really have a certain schedule.**

**Faking A Smile **


	7. Chapter 6: The Real First Date!

**_Chapter Six: "The Real First Date"_**

**_Of The Real Me_**

**A/N: Hello! Another update here and if you couldn't tell by the title, it's their first date. This date is going to be different from all the normal first dates that people have. They are both in high school and Alec just wants to be normal, so what do high school people do on Friday nights? Read and find out…**

**This chapter is dedicated to Dom-Bug. You have given me so much positive feedback and it has helped me with some of the decisions for the future chapters. Thank you sooo much and I hope you like this.**

**Song for the chapter: Sparks Fly by Taylor Swift. I think it captures the essence of how Alec feels (since it's been really hard for me to describe). I strongly suggest that you listen to the song and really pay attention to the words as they are pure perfection.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing! Same language warning for Jonathan's words, as none of this is my opinion.**

**Alexander's Point of View**

As we made our way to lunch, Jace came up and asked if he would talk to me really quick and I, of course, agreed since we hadn't had a lot of time to talk to each other lately. He was still thinking about Clary and would bug Isabelle about inviting her over more often.

"I'll meet you guys at the table." Magnus and Tessa continued to walk and Jace pulled me to the other direction.

"What's up?" I ask seeing as it seemed like whatever he had to say was really important to him.

"You would tell me anything right?" He asks, making me nervous.

"Um, yeah why?" I try not to sound suspicious.

"There are rumors going around about this morning. Jonathan is telling everyone that you stuck up for Magnus because you two are dating. Is that true?"

"No it's not. I stuck up for him because it's the right thing to do." Okay, that may have been a lie, but we aren't official yet so it's not a lie, technically.

"Okay, I believe you, but make sure the press doesn't hear about this." He says warningly.

"Yeah, yeah. I know. Let's go to lunch." I can feel my nerves starting to rise and I fight back the feeling of a panic attack. We walk over to the table and take our seats. I end up sitting by Magnus and by the look on his face; he knows that something is wrong. I smile at him to show that I'm fine. I don't need him worrying about anything, especially on the day of our first date.

Lunch passed by uneventfully and I try to say as little as possible while I try to calm myself. When the bell rings, I throw my trash away before making my way to Calculus. I take a seat and hope to avoid Magnus's questions as I know that he can see right through me.

"Hey. You okay?" Magnus asks with the same look he had at lunch.

"Yeah, I'm fine." I smile and turn my attention to Mr. Garraway as he starts going on and on about something Calculus related. I start taking notes and try to follow him while secretly waiting on this day to be over.

The rest of the day passed by tortuously slow and it ended with us running in PE. I made my way to the car and drove home with my siblings. Izzy kept shooting me knowing glances and Jace was spacing out and the ever quiet Max was texting his friends about their sleepover this weekend.

When we reached the house, I made my way to my bedroom to get dressed. I quickly took a shower and went to my closet to pick out something. After what felt like a lifetime of looking through my clothes, I still didn't know what to wear and I was starting to freak out. Just then I heard a knock in my door.

"Need some help big brother?" Izzy asked with a smirk.

"Yes. I have no idea what to wear and I don't know where we're going." I fell back on my bed with a sigh.

"I happen to know where you are going and what would be perfect for you to wear." She walked over to my closet and started digging through the clothes. She held up a black shirt, light wash skinny jeans, and my black vans with my glasses. I shoot her a questioning look regarding the classes, "He loves guys in glasses. He told me last night when we're texting."

"This will blow Magnus away. It's the new trend: The Sexy Nerd. Go put it on." I walked to the bathroom and put the clothes on and fixed my hair. I walked out just as the doorbell rang and I noticed Isabelle wasn't in the room.

I checked my reflection to make sure I looked good and walked downstairs to find Jace and Magnus talking.

"Nice talking to you Magnus." Jace said and walked away, making me raise a brow at Magnus.

"You look amazing Alexander." And queue the blush.

"Thank you Magnus. We can go." I say while trying to hide my blush.

We walked to his car and drove out of the driveway. We talked about our day and he asked me why I stood up for him.

"Well, I hate bullying and especially when it involves you. By the angel, people have enough shit going on in their lives and to add bullying to that is just messed up."

"I have to say, that is an amazing answer." He said with his signature smirk.

"Thanks, so, where are we going?"

"Tonight Alexander, you are going to be a normal teenager and do what normal teenagers do."

"Which is?" I ask since he just wants to give me weird hints.

He stopped the car and I saw a stadium, lights, and a lot of people. "We are going to a football game. We have one every Friday and they are a lot of fun. Plus, we can be together and people won't think it's weird." He is amazing!

"I can't wait." We got out of the car and walked to get tickets. Thankfully everyone was too absorbed in their conversations to notice me. I followed Magnus to the concession stand because he claimed that you can't go to a football game without getting a hotdog and popcorn.

We found seats and played twenty questions again until the game started. I learned that he lives with his uncles, his favorite color is blue, his favorite food is Chinese, and he wants to be a fashion designer, even though he has an amazing voice and could easily be a singer.

"And here I thought you would want to be a singer." I said.

"I like singing, but I am obsessed with fashion." He smiled "Speaking of singing, what made you want to become a singer?"

"I love singing and it helps me express my emotions instead of keeping them bottled up like I normally do. Plus when I'm on stage I can be me and come alive." I said.

"That's amazing and your music reflects that." I was shocked that he listens to me.

"You listen to my music?"

"Of course, everyone listens to you. When your first song came out, the school went crazy. It was hilarious. All you hear walking down the halls were 'If I had you' being sung or hummed." He laughed and I couldn't help but join him. The game started and we were quickly winning. The first half was over and the bands came out to play. I had never been to a football game before and it was amazing. No paparazzi, no screaming fans, just a normal night.

While we were driving home, we held hands and it was amazing. I know it's not much, but it's more than I've done before. I had never planned on dating until I had moved out of my parents' house since they are so judgmental. I was brought out of my thoughts when I realized we were at my house.

"Are you free tomorrow afternoon?" He asked me.

"I have rehearsal in the morning and should run to about 11:30, but I'm free after that."

"I'm helping my Uncle Adam at his restaurant Taki's that's in the mall until around that time."

"I can come by there when I get done and we can walk around the mall and see a movie if we're up to it?" I said.

"That sounds good. I had an amazing night."

"Me too, Magnus."

"I will see you tomorrow?"

"Definitely. Goodnight."

"Farewell darling." I couldn't help but laugh as I got out of the car. I waved as I entered the house. When I closed the door, I turned to see Izzy standing there smiling in a very creepy manner.

"Tell. Me. Everything."

**A/N: I hope you liked this chapter! **

**Please review with any thoughts, compliments, or concerns bout his chapter or the story in general as I read and respond to all of them. Please follow this story so you can know when I post a new chapter since I don't really have a schedule set up to update.**

**Faking A Smile **


	8. Chapter 7: The Real Breaking News

**_Chapter Seven "The Real Breaking News_**

**_Of_**__**_The Real Me_**

**A/N: Hello anyone who is still here! I'm so unbelievably sorry for not updating sooner. School has been crazy and stressful! **

**Disclaimer: I own nothing! **

**Enjoy!**

**Magnus's Point of View **

"Don't you people have lives?" I ask in mock annoyance. My group of _lovely_friends had shown up at Taki's ten minutes ago claiming to be "bored out of their pretty little minds.

"No. Now tell us everything!" Camille says referring to my date last night with excitement evident in her eyes. I had filled them in on what had been happening with Alec and I in this past week and I made sure to have them all swear no to tell anyone seeing as he was still in the closet and in the public eye.

"In one word: Magical." I go on and tell them everything about the date not sparing any details because I know they wouldn't out him since you can't break pinky promise.

"It doesn't seem so magical to me." Will say with a bored expression.

"That's because you are a Grinch. It was simple and normal, which is exactly what Alexander wanted."

"It's so weird to think of him as a friend. I mean he's Alec freaking Lightwood." Camille said and I see her fangirl emotions coming up to the surface.

"Speaking of Alec freaking Lightwood, where is he?" Ragnor said.

"He has rehearsal and then he should be on his way here. We were going to hangout." I say and look at the clock that reads 11:30.

"Do you think he would give an autograph?" Camille asks randomly a few minutes later causing us to give her a strange look.

"What? I was just wondering." She mumbles.

"Why don't you ask him?" I say as Alec and I make eye contact when he walks through the door.

"Ask me what?" He says confused.

"Camille wanted an autograph." Will explains when he sees Camille won't.

"Um, sure. Do you have any paper?" He asks while looking around. She hands him a piece of paper and a pen while I take this time to check him out. He went simple today with wearing black skinny jeans, a white v neck tee shirt, and combat boots.

"There you go." He hands the paper to Camille.

"How was rehearsal?" I question as he jumps up to sit on the counter. I was in the back room since Adam wanted me to reorganize some of the inventory and recount it.

"It was pretty good. We went over the performance for next weekend and a few other performances that are coming up". He answers.

We fall into a comfortable silence as the rest of my friends start their own separate conversations. The last 15 minutes of my shift ends and Adam tells me I can stop for the day.

We all walk out of the store and start walking around the mall. Since it's already noon, most of the people have stopped to eat lunch and most of the store are pretty empty.

"How long have you guys been friends?" He asks as we look through the racks at one of my favorite stores.

"They've been friends since they were little and they adopted me into the group when I moved here when I was 12."

"That's so sweet. We never went to public school. We were always homeschooled."

"What's different this year?"

"I guess our parents want us to remain as normal as possible since the paparazzi has increased." He explains

"Like the ones all around us?" I ask while pointing to the five different photographers trying to be discreet.

"Exactly." He says with a sigh.

"Sorry my friends imposed on our date." I say kind of sheepishly while rubbing the back of my neck.

"It's not a problem. They're all really fun."

We finish eating and waited for the rest of our group to finish. We passed the time by playing twenty questions.

When our friends were finished, we agreed to go to Alec's house since it was bigger and he said he had a lot of movies.

"Can I ride with you? I walked here since it wasn't far?" I asked. No need to drive when I was like five minutes away. It's a perk of living in the city.

"Yeah. Let's go."

By the time we made it to the car, everyone else was waiting on us so they could follow. We made it to his house pretty quickly and I got out of the car just so I could see Camille, Will, Jem, and Ragnor's faces when they saw the house.

They all looked at the house in complete awe.

"Can this even be classified as a house? It seems more like a freaking mansion!" Ragnor said.

"I don't know why it's so big. We only use like half of the house anyway." Alec complained as we walked into the kitchen.

"Do you guys want some snacks? We have popcorn, candy, and some sodas of waters if you want." We made the popcorn and grabbed a few bags of Skittles before heading to his home theater. Who has a home theater?

By the time we all get in ours cars, get there, and get a table, it's close to 8 since we shopped for two and a half, watched two movies that were a little over two hours, and got here.

"You have to get the Hawaiian burger for your first time." Jem tell Alec since he is sitting on his left side while I'm on the right. We all know what we want since we come here at least once a week and order before watching E!News on one of the TVs in the restaurant.

"I love their red carpet coverages for all the award shows." Camille said.

"Me too. They are the only ones who actually ask about people's outfits." I said. Camille and I are fashion buddies in crime since we both want to be fashion designers.

"Breaking news!" Flashes on the screen catching the restaurant's attention.

"An inside scoop on freshly leaked hospital reports claiming that pop sensation, Alec Lightwood, tried to kill himself resulting in him being on suicide watch. More on this story as it develops." We all turn to look at Alec who looks like a ghost and is shaking.

"How do they know about that?" He says in barely a whisper, his eyes not moving from the screen now showing miscellaneous commercials.

"I have to go." He says in the same whispering tone, "I have to go, I'm sorry." I move to let him out of the booth and he takes off out of the restaurant without looking back. I sit down utterly confused and look at Camille as she starts talking.

"Did you know about that?"

"That's not something you go blabbing about in the first date, Camille." Will says while rolling his eyes.

"I had no idea, and by the look on his face, he didn't want anyone to know." The rest of dinner is finished in silence and I get a box for Alec's food since he left before it came.

After dinner I walk back to my house since I live relatively close and get my car before heading to Alec's hose to not only check on him, but give him his food.

When I get there, I see several cars in the driveway making me frown in confusion. I ring the doorbell and an unfamiliar guy opens the door making me a tad bit jealous since he isn't bad looking.

"Who are you and why are you here?" He says in a gruff voice.

**A/N: Plot twist! Hey again! This may seem kinda strange, but I wanted to develop the story and characters more. This may seem weird, but it will all be explain eventually. It has a lot more to it than how E!News made it seem. **

**Please review with any thought, compliments, or concerns you may have about this chapter or the story in general as I read and respond to them all. Make sure you follow this story to know when I post new chapters because I don't have e regular posting schedule. **


	9. Chapter 8: The Real Discovery

___**Chapter Eight "**_**_The Real Discovery"_**

**_Of The Real Me_**

**A/N: Since I was so inspired to write for this story, you have another update.**

**Song is Who You Are by Jessie J. Who You Are is the name of Alec's album. If you listen to it, listen to the version she did live for Vevo. It sounds better to me.**

**I own nothing!**

**Enjoy!**

**Alec's Point of View**

A million thoughts were running through my head as I walked to my car. Just as I reached the car, my phone started ringing and I saw Catarina's name pop up.

"Alec, have you seen the news?" Her frantic voice said through the phone.

"Yes. How do they know about that? I had those files hidden for a reason "I said feeling very frustrated at the moment.

"I know. I have your lawyer team looking into how they leaked and I'm sending the security team to your house to control the media situation." Catarina said as I sped down the road. My parents always have a security team on call in case of emergencies or when we go out of town.

"Okay. Make sure no one says anything to the press." I tell her as we end the phone call and I go into the house.

Since I heard the TV playing E!News in the living room, I headed there hoping to find my siblings. Just as I rounded the corner, I heard the frantic whispering to change the channel.

"You guys can change the channel back. I've already seen the news and the security team is on the way." I tell them with a bored heads all snap over in my direction with surprised and pity looks on their faces.

"It just popped up on the screen." Jace said trying to sound nonchalant.

"Whatever helps you sleep at night, Jace." I turn to go to my room and call over my shoulder, "I'm taking a shower before I go to my music room. Open the door when the security team comes."

I got into the shower and let the hot water relax me while I try to clear my mind. I was trying to overcome that and they had to bring it up again. The worst per is that they aren't telling the entire story, just part of it so people will think I'm suicidal. After a few minutes, I get lost in my thoughts.

_When I reach my room, I fall into the bed exhausted from my latest therapy session. My therapist never helps, partly because he doesn't understand, but acts like he does. No one actually gets it, my parents most of all, and they think that making me go to therapy and shoving pills down my throat will help._

_I force myself to get out of the bed and into the shower even though I'm completely out of it. Getting out of bed is harder than I thought, probably because I just don't care about much anymore. I'm glad I have music or I don't know what or where I would be._

_Before entering the shower, I grab the pills and throw them back not bothering to count them; just hoping it's the right amount. After barely registering my shower, I dry off and put on a pair of sweatpants before falling asleep in the bed..._

_Beep._

"Alec? You okay?" Max's voice drift through the door, snapping me from my thoughts.

"Yeah. I just got distracted." I whisper hoping he could hear me. I turned off the water and stepped out while grabbing a towel.

"I just wanted to tell you that the security team is here." He said with a weary look as I walked into the bedroom.

"Thanks. I'm heading to the music room." He leaves as I finish getting dressed in simple sweatpants and a shirt while walking down the stairs.

When I enter my music room, I immediately go to my piano, knowing exactly what song I want to play.

"_I stare at my reflection in the mirror/_ _Why am I doing this to myself/_ _Losing my mind on a tiny error/_ _I nearly left the real me on the shelf/_ _No, no, no, no." I continue singing the chorus next._

_"Don't lose who you are, in the blur of the stars/_ _Seeing is deceiving, dreaming is believing/_ _It's okay not to be okay/_ _Sometimes it's hard, to follow your heart/_ _Tears don't mean you're losing, everybody's bruising/_ _Just be true to who you are/" I finish singing the rest of the song before _I hang my head as my emotions catch up to me. I can feel my eyes start to water and I fight back the tears.

"That's my favorite song of yours." I jump, startled by the voice behind. Turning around, I'm faced with the green, cat like eyes of Magnus.

"Oh, um thank. What are you doing here?" I say quickly before realizing how bad that sounded. "I just mean that I wasn't expecting company." I mumble while looking down.

"You left before the food came." He tells me while holding up a bag of food.

"Oh, thanks." I grab the bag and sit it on the table by the couch.

"You could have warned me about the big scary dudes at the door." He said with a smirk that had me laughing.

"They are pretty scary, but they really help to control the paparazzi. Angel, I don't even want to think about them." I groan while taking a seat on the couch, making sure to leave enough room for Magnus.

"Well, why don't I distract you?" He whispers and I turn to face him, instantly coming into contact with a pair of soft lips. I grab the back of his head to deepen the kiss and his hands snake around my waist, crushing or bodies together. I sighed silently, rejoicing in the feeling of his lips as it had been way to long since we last did this.

I start to nibble on his bottom lip, extracting a moan from him that makes me start feeling hot. I feel his tongue sweep across my bottom lip, silently asking for entrance.

I oblige happily and I feel his warm tongue enter my mouth making the kids go to a whole other level. This, however, proves to be a bad thing since I didn't hear the door open.

"Hey Alec, I was wondering if you-" I hear an overly familiar voice start, breaking us from the trance of the kiss.

"And you said you would tell me anything." My head snaps over and I feel my face pale when I see Jace standing in the doorway, mouth wide open.

"Jace! I can expl-" I start only to stop when he walks out of the room. I hang my head in frustration when I hear his door slam upstairs.

**A/N: This was an eventful day! I'm going to start doing more shorter chapters so I can update faster.**

**The italics earlier was a flashback to when Alec's drama happened, but it will be explained in much more detail when Alec tells Magnus. I feel so bad for putting my little Ally Bear through all this!**

**Please review with any thoughts, compliments, or concerns you have about the chapter or the story in general as I read and respond to all of them.**

**Make sure you follow this story so you can know when I post a new chapter seeing as I don't have a regular posting schedule.**

**Faking A Smile**


	10. Chapter 9: The Real Progress

**_Chapter Nine: "The Real Progress"_**

**_Of The Real Me_**

**Hey guys! Sorry it's been so long since my last update, but I didn't know what I wanted this chapter to be. I got the inspiration from watching the Voice when a contestant performed Hurt by Christina Aguilera and it just hit me!**

**Another thing, I love getting reviews from you guys, but I hate getting reviews that just say "update now" or the infamous "uupppddattee". It's really annoying and tells me that you don't read any of my authors notes because I normally say that I'm really busy and the update may take a while.**

**Song for the chapter: Whataya Want From Me by Adam Lambert. There will be lyrics throughout the chapter.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing!**

**Enjoy!**

**Alec's Point of View**

As the finishing touches are being applied to my meticulously styled hair, my mind wanders back to the past week.

**Hey, slow it down**

**Whataya want from me**

_After Jace left, Magnus and I were left in a weird silence. It was obvious he didn't know what to say, and how could he know. Jace just saw us kissing, promptly forcing me out of the closet._

_It wasn't that I didn't want to tell my siblings officially, I just didn't know how. I was never good with expressing how I felt; I normally pushed the thoughts away, never wanting to dwell on them again._

_My mind was racing and I could feel myself slipping into a panic attack. I hadn't had one in a long time and thought that it was behind me, but it's apparent that I will never get past this._

_I could feel my breath shortening and my body rocking back and forth. I backed into the wall and slid down while grabbing my knees and pulling them to my chest. I could faintly hear Magnus calling my name, but I felt so hazy that I couldn't form the words to answer him._

**Yeah, I'm afraid**

**Whataya want from me?**

_After an unknown amount of time, I heard Isabelle's voice and felt her arms slide around me, gently coaxing back to the present. She was the only one who could help me when I had the attacks. I inhaled a huge breath of air and looked to my right to see Magnus's worried face. Several things passed through my mind, most revolving around the thought that I had just had a panic attack in front of my boyfriend? If I could even call him that._

_Isabelle's soft, reassuring voice quietly told Magnus that it would be best to call it a night and I couldn't agree more. I'm always spaced out after panic attacks._

_I went to bed shortly after Magnus left. It was obvious that he didn't want to, but I knew it was for the best._

**Just don't give up**

**I'm workin' it out**

_The next day at school I was still quiet and none of sibling questioned it because they knew how I acted after those incidents. Jace ignored me altogether, not that I minded. We both needed time to process what happened and I knew that forcing him to accept it would only worsen the situation in the long run._

_I went about my day like normal, except I avoided Magnus. It was hard considering we had all of the same classes, but I made sure I always had my headphones on. I remembered on our first date that he said he never likes being talked to when he had his headphones on, so he did the same with others._

**It messed me up**

**Need a second to breathe**

_I watched him out of the corner of my eye in Calculus and saw that he was already looking at me as if my appearance would have all the answers. I was careful to keep my facial expressions neutral, as if my mind was blank when in actuality it was constantly racing._

_It was apparent that luck was not on my side due to the fact that the rest of that period was a study hall and we could work together to complete our homework. This proved to be true when Magnus broke the tense silence between us._

**Just keep coming around**

_"Ignoring me won't stop me from asking questions." Just as he said that the bell rung, prompting him to gathering his belongings and go to our next class._

_This simple statement ignited several new thoughts to pass through my mind. I realized that he was right; running away never helps, but only prolongs the inevitable._

_I had made up my mind: I was going to tell Magnus about the panic attacks._

**Yeah, it's plain to see**

**That baby you're beautiful**

**And there's nothing wrong with you**

_I told him to meet me at my house after school. When we arrived, I led him to my room and closed the door. I turned to him as we both sat on my bed._

**It's me, I'm a freak...**

**...Whataya want from me**

_"When I was 12-"_

"Please welcome pop sensation, Alec Lightwood." I had somehow moved from the dressing room to the green room and waited for my que. I walked onto the stage giving the rowdy crowd a bright smile, pushing my previous thoughts to the back of my mind.

I walked over to the sitting areas and gave Ellen a hug. My nerves were coming back; I'm on Ellen for Angel's sakes!

"Hi how are you_?"_She asked excitedly, the crowd was just now quieting down.

"I'm great, thanks for asking." I responded.

"Many people think that you became famous from your parents, but we both know that's not true. How did you actually become famous?" I hate that people think that just because my parents have a company, we are automatically given anything we want.

"Jace and Isabelle are really outgoing and like going to a teen club, Pandemonium. One night they dragged me out to make me be more social. The club was having an open mic night and you could do anything and they signed me up to sing. I was terrified because I had never sung in front of a crowd. I performed The Climb by Miley Cyrus and there was a scout in the audience and he asked if I could come to his studio and audition for the label managers. I did some original songs they like it, and the rest is history."

"You did an interview when you first went on your album promotion tour. What was that like?"

"It was very surreal. I have always dreamed of being able to share my music with people and to actually be doing that was amazing." I said, knowing I had a bright smile plastered on my face.

"What's your favorite song from your album, Who You Are?"

"It's hard to pick a favorite because they were all written for specific reasons. I don't think I could pick a favorite." All of my songs were written when I needed to explain my feelings. Trying to pick a favorite, would be like picking a favorite child.

"What is your least favorite part of being famous?" I knew the answer to this without having to do any thinking.

"For me, it's the media and paparazzi."

"Why that part?"

"Sometimes it feels as though my life is under a microscope. I went to the grocery store in sweatpants and they thought I was having crisis. It was seven am on a Saturday and we were out of orange juice." This made the crowd laugh.

"You and your siblings started attending St. Raziel's High School. How have you liked it so far?"

"We all love it. The people there are so nice. We've all found our group, so to speak, to hang out with."

"Is this the group of people you're referring to?" A picture of Magnus's friends came up on the screen from the night we went to Taki's.

"Yeah. That's Jem, Tessa, Will, Ragnor, Camille, and Magnus." I told them pointing to every person as I said their name.

"It's obvious to everyone that you are really close to your siblings. How do you guys stay so close when you're constantly traveling?"

"I try not be gone for too long, you never what Jace and Isabelle can do when left unattended for too long." This caused the crowd to start laughing. I love Jace and Izzy, but they can be a little mischievous.

"Last question from me: Are you dating anyone?" The question my blood run cold and transported my mind back to when Jace talked to me about what he saw.

_It was Thursday, two days after I told Magnus about the panic attacks, and I was sitting on my bed listening to music when my door opened. In walked Jace, who hadn't talked to me since he saw me and Magnus kissing. I had already told Max, Izzy already knew, so he was the last one I wanted to tell officially._

_He walked in and sat on my bed, my headphones long forgotten. He took a deep breath before he started talking._

**Just don't give up**

**I'm workin' it out**

"_I wanted to talk to you." Was all he said. This one sentence did nothing to calm my nerves. What did he want to say? Was he repulsed by me? Ashamed that I was his brother?_

"_Why didn't you tell me? Don't you trust me?" He looked up and the only way to describe the look in his eyes was desperation and sadness._

**Please don't give in**

"_I do trust you Jace. I was going to tell you, I just didn't know how." I said with as much conviction as I could._

**I won't let you down**

"_What do you mean you didn't know how? All you had to say was 'Jace, I am gay.' It doesn't seem too hard to me." I could tell he was getting upset, but he needs to understand that it's not that simple._

**It messed me up**

"_You can't sit there and say that it's simple. I didn't know how to tell you because I didn't want you to hate me. I didn't know how to tell you because I didn't want you to be like Mom and Dad. How do you think I feel when they come home and say homophobic shit like it's nothing. It tears me up inside and I wanted our relationship to stay the same." I said, practically yelled, all in one huff._

**Need a second to breathe**

"_I didn't think about how you felt… and I'm sorry you have to deal with them. I'll make sure they don't do that next time they're here." He spoke quietly after a tense moment of silence._

**Whataya want from me?**

"_Jace, I'm gay." If he could compromise, so could I._

"_Thank you. So, what's going on with you and sparkles?" Jace is back._

"_Sparkles? He has a name, and I don't know. We went on a date and we hangout and text each other, but nothing's official." I mumbled, not use to talking about Magnus with Jace, I had just gotten used to talking Izzy._

"_And he's treating you right?" I blushed looked anywhere, but at Jace._

**Whataya want from me**

"_By the Angel Jace, what is this? Twenty questions?" I try to get my face to return to a normal color._

**Whataya want from me**

"No, I'm not dating anyone." I say trying to make it as believable as possible. I hate that I'm too much of a coward to come out. I hate that I have to lie. And I hate pretending like my feelings for Magnus and what we have doesn't exist.

"Let's take some questions from the audience." The rest of the interview went like this. I answered random questions from the crowd and to my surprise, my face didn't go up in flames when one person asked a really embarrassing question (which I will not repeat).

When we were done with the interview, I went back to my dressing room to get my bag before heading to the plane..

I got on the plane thinking about whose arms I wanted to be in at that moment.

Magnus…

**A/N: Aww! I love writing this story. I wanted this chapter to follow the pattern of alternating point of views, but I couldn't convey this in Magnus's point of view.**

**Please review with any thoughts, compliments, or concerns you have about the chapter or the story in general as I read and respond to all of them.**

**Make sure you follow this story so you can know when I post a new chapter seeing as I don't have a regular posting schedule.**

**Faking A Smile**


	11. Chapter 10: The Real Heavy Fire

_**Chapter Ten: "The Real Heavy Fire"**_

_**of The Real Me**_

**A/N: Hello everyone! I'm back with a new chapter (finally)! Between school and other activities, I barely have enough time to eat and sleep. I am on winter break now and I plan on updating my stories and having extras written (fingers crossed).**

**Songs: The song for this chapter is Heavy Fire by Adam Lambert. This song comes from his latest album The Original High which is bomb and you should all listen to it and love it! **

**I do not own any of the characters or songs.**

**Enjoy!**

..MAGNUS POV..

I walked back from the kitchen with freshly popped popcorn and sodas for me and my uncles. After they found out about my feelings for Alexander, they insisted on watching his Ellen interview with me in the living room and here we are. Alexander's interview had been the talk of the school for the last few days and it was worse since he missed most of school on Friday to go to LA to film it and record a new song he wrote, though the last part isn't known to the public.

I handed my uncles their drinks and their bowl of popcorn as they cuddled on the loveseat before taking mine to the big couch and laying down just as Ellen came on.

"Our next guest is a singer who got famous overnight. Please welcome pop sensation Alec Lightwood" Ellen says as the crowd goes wild and Alexander walks out in all his glory and hugs Ellen before sitting down. I am a little, a lot, jealous that he got to hug Ellen.

As the interview progresses, I can't take my eyes away from the screen as he tells the story of how he became known for his music and not just because of his parents and how he deals with his newfound popularity. My heart flutters when they move to our group of friends at school and they show a picture of us goes to Taki's the other night. I can't help but feel giddy when I hear him say my name and I instantly feel like a kid getting flustered over their first crush, though that happiness is soon crushed when Ellen asked the dreaded question;

"Last question from me: Are you dating anyone?" Although I know what his answer is probably going to be, I feel hope starting to rise that he would confirm our feelings for each other even though we aren't official.

"No, I'm not dating anyone." Those five words always hurt more than I think they will. I get up from the couch, not bothering to watch the rest of the interview. As I leave the house, I see the pity looks coming from my uncles before walking out with my phone and headphones. I'm glad I didn't put on pajamas after my shower later and actual clothes I think as I walk down the street while listening to my playlist named My Escape.

As I walk down the sidewalk, I feel like I'm getting sucked into a troublesome whirlpool with Alexander. Are my feelings for him worth the heartache that could face with the being involved with a closet case? I honestly don't know, but I know I will regret not giving it a try. I get pulled out of my thoughts by the sound of someone singing in the local café and I decide to go into the place.

I quickly find an empty seat in the back near the counter after removing my headphones and ordering a latte. The girl performing is singing one of my favorite and unrated songs, Lost Boy by Ruth B. The song is about a person who is depressed and I used to listen to everyday after my dad's death. His accident is the reason why I started writing my own songs, it served as a way for me to express the pain and escape my reality. I came to live with Uncle Adam and Uncle Brendon right after since I knew them the best and my Dad trusted them with his life.

When she's finished, the entire café erupts in applause making her blush profusely as she walks off the small platform and sits down with a group of friends.

As I sat there, my thoughts wondered back to when Alexander and I were caught kissing by Jace. I was frozen in shock and I immediately felt guilty after Jace left and slammed the door. I was snapped back when I hear Alec's breathing increase and he started shaking. I instantly called for Isabelle and she helped to coax him back and I knew I had a worried expression on my face when he quickly looked down after looking at me. How could I not have a worried expression when he just freaked out? I felt like it was entirely my fault and I thought he would hate me.

After he ignored me all throughout the day, even going as far as going to his car during lunch. I watched him all through calculus, wondering if this was his way of getting me to forget about what happened. When the bell rang, I got without waiting on him and said that him ignoring me won't keep me from asking questions.

That afternoon, I went over his house and he told me why he has panic attacks and I understand why he is afraid to come out. Although I understand, it doesn't make his earlier statement any easier to hear, which makes me feel like a total hypocrite. I get pulled out of my thoughts again by a barista saying that the stage was open for anyone who wanted to sing. I thought about what song I wanted sing and I remembered the song I was listening to before I came into here. I went up to the counter and signed up before finding the instrumental for the song.

When my turn came up, I went to up to the stage and plugged my phone into the sound system.

"Hello everyone, I'm Magnus and I'm going to sing a song I wrote a while ago called Heavy Fire. I hope you like it." I took a deep breath and signaled for the music to start.

**I'll be trying too hard when I already lost**

**I can't bet on these cards cause I know what they'll cost**

**If I get a scent that's meant to trip my reason**

**I'm sold, I can't be told to pass what I had last**

**I don't wanna get down in the flame  
Why you gotta make me play this game?  
Just like a honest liar  
Taking on heavy fire  
I don't wanna melt down in the heat  
Like I got the devil at my feet  
Just like a funeral pyre  
Taking on heavy fire**

**So give it to me, throw me some shade**  
**Why can't I see this conclusion I've saved?**  
**When I think about the doubt that I depend on**  
**I'm sold, I can't be told to pass what I had last**

**I don't wanna get down in the flame**  
**Why you gotta make me play this game?**  
**Just like a honest liar**  
**Taking on heavy fire**  
**I don't wanna melt down in the heat**  
**Like I got the devil at my feet**  
**Just like a funeral pyre**  
**Taking on heavy fire**

**Feel like an honest liar**  
**Taking on a heavy fire**  
**I feel so complete**  
**Just like an honest liar**  
**Taking on heavy fire**

When I finish I open my eyes, not realizing they were closed, and look around the café before locking eyes on the person who has been haunting my thoughts all day:

Alexander.

**A/N: These two make my heart melt every time! I'm so inspired that I'm starting the next chapter right now. I hope to write a lot over the break so I have extra chapters saved and I hopefully start updating on a schedule. If I start doing that it would be on Sundays. **

**If you want to see the explanation of the song, go on YouTube and search "Heavy Fire Commentary" and it should be the first video with Adam Lambert's gorgeous face in the thumbnail.**

**Anyways, I hope you enjoyed the chapter and please review with your thoughts on the chapter or story in general. Favorite and follow if you haven't already.**

**Faking A Smile **


	12. Chapter 11: The Real Inner Turmoil

**Chapter Eleven **_**"The Real Inner Turmoil" **_

**of **_**The Real Me**_

**A/N: Hello everyone! That last chapter though! I hate putting my babies through pain, but the show must go on. **

**!IMPORTANT: I've received several reviews that want the chapters to be longer. When I'm writing a chapter, i don't set a goal for the number of words I want to write. I usually have an outline of the events I want to happen in that chapter and I write until the inspiration runs out. Sometimes that's at 1,000 words, sometimes it's 3,000. There are plenty of other stories that have long chapters consistently, mine is not one of them though.**

**Songs: There is part of Dark Side by Kelly Clarkson. I was listening to Troye Sivan's and Alessia Cara's newest albums when I wrote this though so you should listen to them because they are so bomb! **

**I own nothing sadly. **

ALEXANDER'S POV

The entire plane ride home the interview was circling throughout my head like it was on repeat. No matter what I tried to entertain myself with, my mind went right back to the interview and my terrible response. I ended up putting my headphones on and the first words hit harder than I'm willing to admit.

Or will you stay

Even if it hurts

Even if I try to push you out

Will you return?

And remind me who I really am

Please remind me who I really am

After my relationship status was brought up, the rest of the interview went by in a blurry haze of answering questions and fake laughing to pass the time. My body and mind felt numb and isolated from life. It was like my body went on autopilot without my permission. Nothing felt real, nothing felt tangible. From the fans to the flight attendants, it all felt like I was in a bubble.

I couldn't think straight and I felt like I wasn't present at any point on the plane ride home. I somewhat snapped back to reality when the plane touched down, just enough to get my bag from the back room and thank the pilot before leaving the plane and getting in the car that was waiting for me. Even when the driver confirmed that I wanted to go straight home, I didn't feel like it was me responding. On the drive home, I was thanking the angels that the airport was far enough way that I had time to clear my head before I had to face my siblings. I knew that if I didn't they would be all over me until I told them what was wrong. I had already gotten several texts from them asking what was up with the last part of the interview. They were mostly from Jace which didn't really shock me since he is a very straightforward person. He asked why I didn't confess about Magnus if I was as sure about my feelings for him like I told him. I saw his point and I was about to agree when my parents voices popped into my head and promptly reminded my why I didn't. While I wasn't financially dependent on them, they were my parents, even if they forgot that.

When the car pulled into the driveway, the driver, who was the head if the security team, opened the door and handed me my bag. I thanked him quickly before finding my keys and unlocking the front door as he drove away.

As I walked through the door, I could the laughter of a lot of people, making me think that my siblings decided to throw a party. I rounded the corner of the living room to see a group of teens on the couch talking and drinking sodas, making my body relax. I dropped my bags to grab their attention and smiled as Izzy Max, and Jace ran up to give me hug. I ruffled Max's hair, kissed Izzy's cheek, and gave Jace a "bro hug" as he likes to call it.

They introduced me to Clary, Simon, Maia, Jordan, Emma, and Julian. Apparently, they each befriended two since we started school, which made me feel like a jerk since I had been too preoccupied in my own drama to ask how they were doing. I introduced myself and gave my autograph to Maia and Emma who went into full "fangirl mode" according to Max. I stayed down and talked to them for a bit before I excused myself to take a shower and unpack. On the way upstairs I saw Max giving me the "you're not fooling anyone" look and I made a mental note to spend time with him soon.

I quickly made my way up the stairs and unpacked my bag and took a quick shower. I pulled on a pair of sweatpants and dried my hair as I went into Jace's room to find my moisturizer that he always steals, saying he doesn't feel "inspired" enough to buy his own bottle. When I turn to leave, I bump into someone and see that it's a very flustered Maia who starts apologizing like crazy before running back down the stairs and I stand there with a naked chest and in complete shock and confusion.

I walk back to my room and finish getting dressed so I can go talk to Magnus. I kept it simple and just put a hoodie on with the sweatpants so i wouldn't be recognized. I head to back the living room and keep talking with my siblings' friends who turn out to be really cool and fun to talk to. We made plans to have a small get-together with my group of friends and them next weekend before I told my siblings where I was headed to and Max gave me that same look again. I texted him quickly saying that we would talk when I got back and he responded back quickly saying okay.

I decided to take the convertible so I could see the area around Magnus's place. I'm glad he told me where he lived when we were texting the other day, otherwise I would be completely lost seeing as he hasn't answered any of my texts for the last couple of hours, making the nervous pit in my stomach grown more and more by the minute.

When I'm passing through a small outdoor plaza area right outside a small park, I hear a person singing that sounds an awful lot like Magnus coming from a cute little café. I pull into a parking space on the side of the street and make my way into the café, just in time to catch his performance. I can tell that he wrote the song, which has me very impressed and I can tell that he believes the lyrics one hundred percent as he sings them with everything he has in him. I quickly make a note to make him show me all the songs he's written.

When he finishes, I'm in complete awe of him and I clap extra loud. As he looks around the café, the smile fades from his face and goes blank as we make eye contact making all the feelings earlier come back with a vengeance. He steps down off the stage before grabbing his jacket and walking straight past me and out of the door. I blink out of my momentary haze from admiring him and run after him.

"Magnus, Magnus please wait." I say, but to no use as he continues to walk as if he doesn't hear me. He cuts through the park and I make sure I to keep calling his name. I finally catch up to him and grab his arm to stop him from walking away.

"Please stop." I say exasperatedly when he continues to struggle to try to get away.

"Oh now I exist? Now I matter to you?" The anger in his voice takes me by surprise causing me to let go of him and he starts walking again. Even though I want to ask why he's acting like this, I can't help but realize that I would be the exact same way if I was in his position.

"I don't know what you want me to say." I said walking beside him now and he stops and turns to face me. I want to tell him that he was the only thing running my head the entire ride home. I want to say that he is the only person that has captured my attention like this. I wanted to say so much, but nothing seemed right.

"What are we even doing, Alec? What is this? This thing we have between us?" I sigh and look around to make sure no one was looking before I grabbed his face and kissed him with everything I had in me. He stands there in shock before I feel his hands wrap around my waist and pull him closer.

"I don't want to lose you over this." I hear him whisper as we pull back. I felt the same way. Losing him before anything even started between us wasn't where i wanted us to go.

"I don't want to lose you either, but I can't promise you that I'll come out next week or next month for that matter." I see his shoulder drop and he drops his head on my chest. "I can promise that I'm yours completely for however long you want me." His head snaps up and he has an adorably shocked face that has me laughing at him.

"Does this mean that I can call you my boyfriend?" I ask, hope rising in my chest with every word. I can see his mind processing everything and I'm about to burst from the excited feeling in my chest.

"No."

**A/N: Hey there! This ending though! I have the next chapter written though and it will be going up in a week. I like torturing you guys though! **

**Do you like the flow/pattern of this chapter? I wanted more thoughts than dialogue and I really like it. Review if you would like. Follow and favorite the story pretty please.**

**If all goes according to plan, next chapter could be up in the next week. **

**Faking A Smile **


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